Mac or PC? Tea or Coffee? Mountain hike or day at the beach? Coke or Pepsi? Republican or Democrat? Analog or digital? Bach or The Beatles? Star Wars or The Lord of the Rings? We live in a world constant and often very strong preferences for this or that. In many cases this is harmless and even humorous. When it comes to our theology, particularly when dealing with issues such as marital intimacy, a this or that mentality can prove very harmful, and anything but funny.

For many things*, we need to embrace a this and that understanding of God’s revelation. And so, for clarification (or at least to get some robust conversations started), I present a short list in which five bits of this ought to happily coincide with five bits of that.

Authority does not give permission or cover for abusive behavior. (Ezek 45:9-10; John 19:11)

And, the potential or actual abuse of authority does not justify rebellion against it. (Matt 22:21) (Note: We may urgently need to escape an abusive person, but we cannot hate or reject authority.)

There is a mutuality of having, fulfilling, and possessing in a marriage. (1 Cor 7:1-7)

And, there are distinct roles of sacrifice and submission in a marriage. (Eph 5:22-33)

Certain behaviors contribute to certain temptations to sin. (1 Cor 7:2, 5)

And, no behavior justifies sin or makes it inevitable. (1 Cor 10:13)

Marriage is a good gift from God and is to be prized and enjoyed fully by those who receive it. (1 Cor 7:7)

And, singleness is a good gift from God and is to be prized and enjoyed fully by those who receive it. (1 Cor 7:7)

Marital intimacy is to be publicly acknowledged as a wonderful gift from God. (Song of Solomon)

And, marital intimacy is to be covered with a holy honor and privacy. (Heb 13:4)

I’m sure we could add many more to this list. If you think of any, I’d love to hear them. Leave a comment or send a reply with your thoughts.

When approaching the teaching of Scripture on areas of life that can often resemble scarred battlefields, it is easy to approach with fear and skepticism. Let us not, however, read back onto our good God the folly and brokenness which are rightly to be attributed to His rebellious creatures. When God has spoken, let us take Him at His word. What is explicitly declared and defined we must take as explicitly true and binding. God knows our hearts and our attempts to twist His words, and that is why we must not only read one part of His word, but all of it. Rogue implications of one passage that could be abused in sinful ways are inevitable caught and dispatched by clear teaching elsewhere. This is a great comfort to all Christians living in a fallen world, and that is something for which we can all be thankful.

*Note: There are also plenty of mutually exclusive doctrines. We cannot serve two masters – we must pick this one or that one. We are saved by the merits of Jesus alone, or we are saved in some measure by our own merits. All Scripture is inspired and profitable, or we can view some of it as optional. God is completely sovereign over all things or man is responsible for…wait a minute, this one should have been in the list above.